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Anaesthetics, Antenatal education, Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Change management, Communication, Compassion, Courage, culture in nhs, Fear of Birth, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Human rights, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, leadership, Learning, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, Newborn, Newborn attachment, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, Postnatal care, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Women's health, Women's rights, zero separation

The birth of my son

25 years ago today I gave birth by Caesarean to my second child . A boisterous boy to compliment my daughter who had been waiting to become a big sister for over 5 years .

I was so excited about going into labour as I was now a midwife – I “knew” what to do – I felt positive and excited .

A few weeks before my due date I suspected my baby was breech and told the consultant “Oh Jenny why are you doing self palpation ? “It’s obviously cephalic” he said (I didn’t know I was going to have a boy ) – “stop worrying!!”

Off I went on my merry way .

Fast forward to my term appointment with my midwife (I had started to have a few niggles but I was determined not to rush into hospital and previous complications meant a home-birth wasn’t an option) . My midwife confirmed my concerns – the baby is breech and there’s nothing in the pelvis at all . I was sent to the hospital – I felt annoyed with myself .

About 5 hours later I was in theatre having a spinal in preparation for a Caesarean. In those days the false evidence of the vaginal breech trial was forced upon many women – I was frightened into having a Caesarean – I truly felt robbed .

I took it all on the chin and decided that it as a midwife would be an asset to have experience of normal birth and Caesarean. This personal experience of mine would help women to know that I’d understand and support them through any birth .

At my Caesarean my son was born – I saw him for less than a few seconds and he was whisked out of theatre into an ante room . There he was wiped down, rubbed, touched and handled by midwives. Then my son was measured,weighed, given vitamin k dressed and wrapped up . I didn’t hold him for 4 hours and I wish I’d been able to.

Not having skin to skin contact in the Operating theatre hasn’t affected the relationship I have with my son . I did however long to hold him whilst I was in theatre and kept asking where he was and when I could see him.

Not having skin to skin contact has made me determined to educate women and those who attend birth in the operating theatre as to why skin to skin it’s so utterly important- it’s a physiological norm for human mammals .

Each time I’m with a woman in the operating theatre I don’t feel angry or upset about my experiences- I just feel very thankful and grateful that times are changing and that skin to skin is becoming normal in the theatre environment.

Skin to skin was never mentioned to me at all for my son’s birth – God forbid a woman would want to hold her baby whilst being operated on in the 1990s !!

Well thank goodness times have changed and that there are lots of brilliant midwives, theatre nurses , obstetricians, anaesthetists and operating department practitioners who know why skin to skin matters . In helping families they are changing the system. They realise that birth in the Operating theatre isn’t about “their theatre” functioning in the same way it always had done but about making the Operating theatre a “family space” .

Once I got to the ward a dear colleague of mine (who has since retired) came to see me and asked me if I’d had skin to skin contact. I hadn’t even fed my son yet!! – luckily my son was a sturdy 8 pounder . My lovely friend passed my son to me so that I could take his sleep suit off , explore his skin , check his fingers and toes , gaze into his face and start our journey as mother and son . He was soon breastfeeding and I felt relieved that my friend had supported me .

If you are wondering whether I’d be such a protagonist for skin to skin if my second birth had been different? I know I would be !! The infamous Dr Nils Bergman set off my interest in why skin to skin matters for all newborns and he instilled in me a duty to spread the word.

I am really proud to have helped many women to overcome their doubts and fears about skin to skin in the operating theatre and I hope I continue this journey with many more families.

This blog is dedicated to my son and daughter who have made me the mother who I am .

Happy birthday son ❤️.

Thank you all for reading.

With love

❤️Jenny ❤️

Being busy as a midwife, Birth, Compassion, Courage, culture in nhs, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, leadership, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Night shifts in the NHS, Obstetrics, organisational development, shift handover, Student Midwives, Working from the heart

This is the way it’s always been – Labour ward night shift to day shift handover NHS ❤️

You may find yourself on a NHS Labour ward at approximately 7am one morning . Everyone is assembling for morning handover . Over the shoulders is being lifted up into bobbles and held back by clips. Pens, hand-creams, mints , note books , mini hand gels all squeezed into powerful pockets. The “not allowed” mobiles are hidden from plain sight “just in case my son/daughter’s school need me” or to “google something”

Some night shift midwives sit in the office desperate to get home – they look worn out and you want to hug them saying “you will go home on time” but you know it’s a lie Other midwives are out of sight – they remain “with woman” in rooms praying that the handover will go smoothly with minimal interruptions. They want the transition from one midwife to another to be compassionate, woman centred, slow and not hurried .

“Don’t forget the midwife on the birth centre – the woman she’s midwifing is in the pool and about to give birth any minute” says the maternity support worker as she leaves . “Has that Midwife had a break?” – “Not sure” comes the reply.

Drs hang around to chip in with their findings and recommendations as well as chomping on leftover unappetising snacks from the tea trolley. The wheeled aluminium “redeployed” dressing trolley cocoons several slices of curled up toast covered with re solidified butter and cups of cold tea in a hard steel exterior as if to say “this wasn’t my original job”

Seats are hard to come by and woe betide the future midwife who gets a chair before a senior Midwife . Some staff arrive late and hide just behind the door pretending they’ve been there all along – but they did go home late last night . Not one manager in sight .

There are comments circulating “I didn’t leave until 10pm last night!! ” “I’ve only had one day post nights now I’m back on days” “my son is poorly but I’ve sent him to school” “how is ***** in room 2?” “who is in theatre ?”

The labour ward lead’s face demands silence – report starts 3 minutes late – you can taste the angst .

The night staff are supposed to finish their shift approximately 15 minutes after the day shift start theirs . The night shift rarely leave on time and luckily someone has the foresight to recognise that the maternity support workers can go home as their reinforcements have arrived to take over – they like the new shift midwives and Drs smell of new freshly applied deodorant . Many perfumes and aftershaves mingle and brighten up the stale office air. The virtual RHS of the NHS in one tiny space.

Now do the math -for one lead Midwife to hand over the cases and care of 8-16 women to the other in just 5 minutes (depending on the different labour wards in the nhs ) so that the day team can split and go to their allocated families, THEN have another more detailed handover (but VERY similar in principal to the one in the handover room) is nigh on impossible- in fact it is INCROYABLE.

So many night staff leave late – some have many miles and hours to drive or travel in a post nights shift state of mind in order to reach the comfort of their own slumber stations. Some wisely choose to pay to sleep in hospital accommodation as they daren’t risk driving. Others travel as they don’t want to be away from home , they need to be up at 2.30pm to collect their children or their children’s children from school and then possibly cook dinner then prepare themselves for their third or fourth night shift .

Staff leave but not before putting their “time owing” in the designated book – it’s not paid you see – even thought leaving late is beyond their control . This is the NHS

So what’s the solution ? I’m not sure there even is one. If you compare the way office workers start their day there is a great disparity happening between humans who work.

It’s about time staff handover had a shake up – be punctual, be succinct , keep your opinions out of report , respect ALL. Allow each midwife to handover each women / family she/he is caring for with the back up of a written SBAR and encourage the lead midwife to take a step back . Someone somewhere must have an idea ??

It’s a handover state of mind .

We are all leaders

Thank you for reading

My thoughts

Jenny The M ❤️©

Courage, culture in nhs, leadership, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Psychology, Respect

The Art of Leadership © Jenny Clarke

So many books , blogs , articles have been written about leadership and what it means to be a leader .

Bad, poor and insufficient leadership will and does impact on many lives within the work environment as well as lots of public places that we visit – poor leadership highlights faults in schools , places of education, libraries, cafes , shops and transport among many others.

In the NHS frontline employees exist within the world of patients , colleagues, service users and relatives. Sometimes in their lives those employees cross from that “safe” world to become a visitor in it as they help their own relatives at appointments, visits to accident and emergency departments, hospital wards , maternity units and may even become service users themselves.

Today I took my family out for breakfast. My daughter and her partner, my son , my niece and her daughter (my great niece) . Four of us had variations of the same breakfast , one had a routine breakfast, my great niece had a children’s portion of an adult meal and we played around with the coffee choices . The young woman who served us kept her cool all the way through the order and never once did her smile drop , “Katie” said “yes” to all our demands and agreed to everything. Even though I could feel the eyes of the person behind me boring a hole into the back of my head , Katie was impervious to this . So in my view Katie is a leader she is an ambassador for the place we ate at . Because of Katie we will go again – separately or together.

Leaders are people who give others positive experiences, they are kind , compassionate and caring . Leaders understand. Leaders don’t embarrass people in front of others or put themselves first . Leaders don’t embarrass themselves – non leaders do .

Leaders put others first -right at that moment when others need to be put first . The nurse who helps the elderly man through the heavy non-automatic hospital doors is a leader . The cleaner who stops doing his job to show someone the right way to a department is a leader .

The manager who pulls a Midwife out of a room (where the midwife is caring for a woman in advanced labour) to discuss “an issue” is not a leader . The professional who berates a colleague in front of other colleagues is not a leader . The colleague who stops the professional from doing this is a leader . The junior Dr who answers the labour ward phone because everyone is busy and tries her best to deal with the call is a leader .

A leader doesn’t brag , belittle , gossip or drag down . A leader is self effacing , true , shows continuous integrity and raises others up .

A leader simply goes about doing the best she/he can to make life better for others and this in turn will make her/ his own life more enjoyable.

Leadership is not about control but about uplifting others ❤️

Look for the leaders where you work . Aspire to be like them – make a note of what it is about them that you admire.

Put some of that magic into your own self at work .

If you’d like to read another blog I have written about leadership for NHS Leadership Academy called “Leadership Is an every day event” then please Click here to read

Be kind ❤️

My thoughts

Thank you for reading

JennyTheM ❤️

Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Communication, Compassion, Hospital, Human kindness, Human rights, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, Newborn attachment, NHS, Obstetrics, Skin to skin contact, Women's rights, zero separation

SkinToSkin poem © by Jenny Clarke

it really doesn’t matter where you are

Home , hospital , Operating theatre, birth-pool or sat on a star 🌟

The ultimate way for a baby’s life to begin

Is right next to her mother in SkinToSkin

Your baby doesn’t care what she weighs

Read and digest the ATAIN study – we adore what that says

SkinToSkin contact for babies 37 weeks or more

can reduce unplanned admissions to special care- that’s the score

It helps stop separation of you and your baby

That’s a fact – no ifs,buts or maybe

Prolonged SkinToSkin makes you more of a team

So that baby can understand you (and vice versa) – see what we mean ?

SkinToSkin is no fad, craze or latest trend

SkinToSkin makes mother’s better mothers that’s why @JennyTheM is here to bend

your ears soon in Breastfeeding Week.

I have read all the research by the SkinToSkin geeks

I am giving you the evidence and it’s right up your street

So make plans , prepare for SkinToSkin don’t leave it to chance

When your baby gets SkinToSkin she’ll move about – a newborn birth dance

SkinToSkin sets off behaviour ,keeps baby’s calm

Us humans are mammals -made to keep our young warm

So at birth just consider how your baby will feel

SkinToSkin will tell her –

YOU ARE the real deal ❤️

© @JennyTheM 27.3.19

My next blog will be about the need for correct positioning for mother and baby (or other mother and baby or father and baby ) in order for SkinToSkin to reach its full potential and benefits ❤️

Children, culture in nhs, data colllection, Digital, freedom of information, Hospital, human resources, Labour , birth, leadership, Media, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, occupational health, organisational development, parents, Patient care, soeaking out, staff allocation, Student Midwives

Raising perceptions of midwifery ©️

This is a current drive in the NHS so I’ve decided it’s time for me to blog about it .

We are often told as midwives that it’s not about working harder but working smarter .

I’d like to try and find out if there is data collected about individual Trusts . The data would perhaps identify times when staffing was low , what the risks were to the women and the pattern of incident reports on those occasions . I also suggest that all maternity units have a duty of care to their staff to maintain accurate , exact records on how women are allocated to midwives, midwives individual workloads and time spent on NHS computers for work and personal use – this should be reviewed on a monthly basis and as part of FOI be available to the public . Do NHS Trusts that are using their own full time maternity staff to supplement staff absence and sickness assess the wellbeing of those staff? Is there a collaboration with occupational health , organisational development and Human Resources departments to review whether or not satisfactory and timely breaks were given. When this is quantified does it identify a distinct association with lack of breaks , working unpaid overtime , poor culture and is there a correlation with staff sickness and absence ?

it’s time now to look at the bigger picture and collect data on these topics as well as birth statistics , outcomes , morbidly and mortality .

Thank you for reading

Yours in midwifery love

Jenny ❤️

Antenatal education, Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Children, Compassion, Hospital, Human rights, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, NHS, Postnatal care, Respect, Skin to skin contact, soeaking out, Student Midwives, Women's rights, Young mothers, Young women, zero separation

Newborn babies – photographed without their parents – my bugbear

Everyone who knows me knows that I promote , research and present about SkinToSkin contact . I know exactly why it matters to mothers , fathers and babies .

Just recently I’ve noticed an advert for an upcoming ITV series “Delivering Babies ” in which Emma Willis stars as a auxiliary nurse assisting on a maternity unit – the profile photo shows a picture of Emma holding someone else’s baby without any of the parents in the photograph – this is what prompted me to write this blog .

One particular bugbear I have is seeing a baby on a photograph with a health care professional without the mother or father being included in the picture .

I have discussed this with many future and new parents and explained that they are the guardians of the newborn – protecting it from unnecessary exposure to anything . At most schools there is a social media policy which prevents the posting of children on social media sites . However the same rules don’t seem to apply for newborn babies.

I see many programmes about pregnancy, labour , birth and the postnatal on TV which I choose to critique. Some I have given up watching through exasperation that the baby is not seem as a child of someone .

I have had heated debates with maternity managers , future midwives , midwives , maternity support workers about why a baby should not be photographed without any of its parents . I ask them this question “if you had a baby would you want it’s photo to be on someone else’s social media account , mobile phone or perhaps even framed on a sideboard in someone else’s home that’s not even related to you ?”

Just google “Midwife” and numerous photos will pop up of midwives holding someone else’s baby . There’s even one from Call The Midwife – time to rethink why these photos exist and consider the human rights of the newborn ?

Below are two collages I made following a google search – who are these babies and were the parents asked for full consent and counselled thoroughly about the fact that their babies would appear on internet searches ?

My other concern is WHO takes the photo ? If it’s on the parents phone and given to the midwife as a gift does that make it ok . What is consent ? Eg “could I have consent to use this photograph of me holding your baby to post on social media / put into a frame at home , look back on and wonder who that baby belonged to in 20 years time ” OR “could I have a photo of you as a family with me in the background which I will treasure and treat with respect , I will not post it on social media and it will remain a midwifery memory for me of meeting you ?”

In taking photos we must consider

Is it necessary ?

Please leave your comments below

Yours in midwifery love

@JennyTheM

Being busy as a midwife, Change management, Communication, Compassion, Courage, Discharge planning, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Labour and birth, Learning, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, Postnatal care, sepsis, Women's health, Working from the heart

Here is your role as a NHS Midwife …… my suggestions

Here is your role as a Midwife in the NHS

  1. learn about the guidelines and policies at your place of work .
  2. Complete your mandatory training come hell or high water despite not being given allocated time to do so
  3. Get up in the morning / the evening travel to work be on time , report for duty .
  4. Push yourself each day to be a little better than you were the day before
  5. When you are upset about something try and soldier on because everyone else is in the same situation
  6. Support new midwives and future midwives – be a role model as everyone takes note of the way you behave at work (don’t for a minute think that they don’t !)
  7. Practice 1-5 each day now add in caring  for women families ,getting along with your colleagues , getting a break everyday and leaving your shift on time

Stick to …….

Wait a minute Wait a minute.   REWIND REWIND REWIND ……

  1. Get on Twitter and join the community of midwives there sharing evidence based practice
  2. Immerse yourself in the computer system that will give you stats for your own practice (as well as others ) and look at how to improve them.
  3. Practice a daily ritual that is kind to you – respect yourself and your body clock get fresh air and sunlight each day pre or post shift Watch this programme “The body clock- what makes us tick?” on the relevance light (measured in LUX) has on the body clock and circadian rhythm .
  4. When you are happy and /or upset about something try and reflect on it through writing or recordings and seek advice from your occupational Health dept. Team up with another midwife from a different NHS trust and see yourselves as support buddies , reflect together on what helps you at work and learn new positive ways of staying focused and compassionate in your midwifery work
  5. Be professional in all you do through the your words / deeds / behaviour towards others including the way you communicate on your break – integrity is a huge part of being a Midwife . The words you speak in the office / break room and out of work are like a fragrance upon you when you are caring / mentoring and teaching.
  6. Having a break is set into statutory employment law – it ain’t no privilege – so plan your own break and get away from your work environment eat your food in a quiet place, do three minutes of mindfulness – your break time belongs to YOU – if you can’t take the full amount at once try breaking into bite sized amounts so you can eat / / rest / reflect but perhaps on three short breaks instead of one long one -also support your colleagues to do the same
  7. If you are a manager/head of midwifery consider how you get your lunch and try to be a role model – go and eat with the staff you manage – you might find out more through this than leading meetings
  8. If you hear a group talking about another colleague in a derogatory manner then challenge them why are they discussing someone who isn’t there to defend themself, then ask them to stop – if you choose to ignore this kind of behaviour you are condoning it
  • Always remember you are not at work to socialise but to put the women and families at the heart of what you do . If you find yourself questioning a colleagues work style – ask yourself this “is that colleague putting the woman first ? “
  • You’ll probably find the answer for the style of work is because the answer is YES!! So if you have a colleague who may seems to take a little longer with women or isn’t seen in the office much try and shadow them – sometimes taking some extra time can be more cost effective – a long chat pre discharge can arm women with knowledge about how to recognise SEPSIS , help her to recognise when her baby is feeding well or not and also to pickup POSTNATAL DEPRESSION earlier .
  • These are just my thoughts and it’s my first blog for ages so I hope you enjoy it
  • Be kind ❤️
  • Yours in midwifery love
  • Jenny ❤️©️2018
  • Being a mum, Communication, Compassion, New parents, NHS, parents, sepsis

    A little story of Sepsis

    A guest blog by my fabulous friend, Val Finigan 

    ‘I had an idea-to write a little blog every few months that would help the midwives and nurses at gtdhealthcare with their continued professional development needs, in preparation for revalidation.

    So here goes, my first blog on sepsis.  I hope that you all enjoy it –please do comment if it is of use.

    The idea of blogging is to share ideas and to embed ‘things’ into the blog that make shared learning easy. Story telling has become an important part of learning in healthcare.  Here I will share my two personal stories of sepsis and links to evidence based learning tools and red flag symptoms of sepsis.

    Sepsis is more common than a heart attack ! Isn’t that shocking?

    The 2015, NCEPOD report, ‘Just Say Sepsis’,  Identified an overall mortality rate of 28.9% per annum, at least 120 people die every day from sepsis in the UK alone.The sepsis manual 2017 (embedded) says “it seems highly likely that, across the UK, sepsis claims at least 46,000 lives every year, and it may actually be as high as 67,000”. Who would have thought that the figures would be this high?

    Sepsis that occurs during pregnancy is termed, ‘maternal sepsis’. If it develops within six weeks of delivery it is termed postpartum or ‘puerperal’ sepsis. Sepsis is one of the leading causes of direct maternal death in the UK. See maternal sepsis tools in the Sepsis manual 2017 (below).

    The HEE have developed a wonderful e-learning programme on sepsis which can be accessed via the web link below.

    https://www.e-lfh.org.uk/programmes/sepsis/

    They have also produced a short film that is really helpful

     

     

    Sepsis is a condition which every health professional might encounter, and which can touch anyone at any time. In general, patients developing sepsis aren’t ‘labelled’ as being at high risk for that condition (in comparison with, for example, a majority of patients presenting with acute severe asthma or diabetic ketoacidosis). There is no one ‘hallmark’ symptom or sign, unlike the crushing chest pain which the public know might indicate a heart attack.

    Because of this, patients tend to present to healthcare late, as evidenced by a 2015 report from the National Confidential Enquiry into Patient Outcome and Death (NCEPOD) which found that, where patients were felt to have presented late to hospital, in nearly 60% of cases it was because they did not ask for help and the delays were typically measured in days rather than hours.

    The National Institute for health and healthcare excellence (2017) have also published guidance on the prevention and management of sepsis- to take a peek CLICK HERE 

    I have had two personal experiences of sepsis, in the days when little was known about the condition. 

    My first child had sepsis and septic arthritis at the young age of 7 (29 years ago).  She had suffered with recurrent Tonsillitis for two years and had been treated with numerous courses of antibiotics. She developed severe pain in her hip and over the next five days became increasingly ill.  An initial xray revealed nothing and because there were not hot spots seen, her symptoms appeared to become irrelevant; the hospital staff would not listen to me nor would my GP. Although I took my daughter on many visits to the GP and Accident and Emergency Department nothing was done. In fact I was labelled as an over-anxious mother and directed to the paediatric pain services to learn to control my daughter’s ‘discomfort’. 

    On the 5thday of her illness she was hallucinating, confused,her temperature was 35C and she was mottled and cold to touch, her lips were blue. I took her straight back to Accident and Emergency.  Two hours later she was in theatre and then spent 6 weeks in hospital on traction and two weeks on intravenous antibiotics, her reminder a scar from thigh to knee. 

    The final diagnosis came, Sepsis and severe Septic arthritis of the hip.

    We counted our blessings daily; if I hadn’t been the awkward mother the outcome could have been worse. The hospital offered their sincere apologies and lessons were to be learnt.

    One lesson I took from this-was always take note of what the parents are saying after all they know their child better than you do.

    My second child had sepsis years later.  Age 11 years; his tooth was broken when he was hit accidentally with a cricket bat. The tooth was crowned and the temporary crown kept falling off.  Sepsis was quick to bite (pardon the pun).

    This time there was a more rapid onset of symptoms. My son came in from playing out and said he felt unwell; he was shivering excessivelyand looked pale and mottled. His temperature was high, yet he sat firmly besides the warm hot radiator because he felt cold.  I took him straight to Accident and Emergency and the staff in this department were trained to spot signs of sepsis.

    Immediately bloods were taken, he was admitted and intravenous antibiotics were were administered within an hour of our arrival at Accident and Emergency. Two weeks later we were back home with a well child.

    So what can be learnt from these two examples of sepsis? The symptoms can be variable –take a look at spotting sepsis below. The onset can also be variable. There are red flag symptoms, early assessment, diagnosis and management are vital.

    Spotting sepsis FINAL.pdf

    Sepsis_Manual_2017_final_v7.pdf

    I hope that the tools in this blog are helpful and that it has been useful. Please do comment

    Thank you for taking the time to read it

    Val Finigan July 2018

    RM. IBCLC. RGN. PhD. MsC. BA (Hons). FHEA. QTLS. Honorary research fellow, senior clinical nurse gtdhealthcare

    NHS

    What is culture? @JennyTheM’s midwifery musings

    Culture is the way something has always been done . Culture raises its head in many places including religion,politics, midwifery ,medicine , nursing education, the way we speak the way we work , the newspapers and tv we watch – we are easily influenced.

    Take for example The House of Commons where the culture is for members of Parliament to shout out to each other, to heckle to humiliate and sometimes to belittle. It’s a very male dominated place and I wonder if it would be the same full of women – will we ever know?

    FGM was a cultural norm but now it’s being challenged and stopped – see what I mean ?

    CLICK HERE for guidelines around recognising & reporting FGM and female cutting)

    Culture in a workplace it’s about doing things the way that “things” have always been done . Sadly for some it’s about behaving the way they’ve always behaved.

    This is based on messages (DMs) I receive from many midwives and Student midwives across not just the UK but the world 🌍

    For example

    • not tackling bullying head on
    • being in a group when someone is talking about someone who is not present and you know it’s wrong but you don’t speak out because no one else is speaking out
    • Joining in with that group to comply
    • It’s about people clucking together like hens that everything is bloody marvellous when it truly is not

    I could go on .. for me though being an anti culture agent (yes that’s me !!) is about

    • Speaking out
    • Not being part of a clique
    • Seeing the people you work with as professional colleagues not “mates to muck about with “
    • Working everyday with evidence based research to GUIDE you
    • Seeing the woman (I am a midwife so I don’t say patient ) as the focus of all actions deeds and words
    • Questioning the norm
    • Challenging crude comments
    • Reporting behaviour that is not professional and doesn’t adhere to the NMC CODE
    • Constantly thinking about why you are doing what you do and not just simply doing it (fish don’t see water)
    • Being the change you wish to see in maternity services (or politics or whatever your work is in)
    • Not bragging
    • Getting on with stuff
    • Networking to help others
    • Leadership

    The list is endless but this blog is merely to help you catapult yourself out of your own compliance.

    How would you describe culture ? There is effective culture & ineffective culture .

    I will always be an anti “poor culture in the workplace” agent

    That’s what integrity is to me

    Thanks also to the change agent that is Heather Gallagher for reminding me about my “be the change ” slide – you inspire many people each day Heather including me ❤️

    Onwards 💪🏻❤️

    Babies, Bereavement, Birth, Compassion, Dying, Grieving, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Kindness, Labour , birth, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, New parents, Newborn, NHS, Obstetrics, Patient care, Post traumatic stress disorder, Student Midwives, Women's health, Women's rights, Working from the heart

    A Midwife’s heart and caring for families through stillbirth ❤️

    This is a very difficult blog to write . Yesterday someone highlighted a tweet to me about midwives and how they deal with the impact of caring for a family who may have to face the loss of a baby . It was to do with midwives knitting hats for stillborn babies .

    I have been a Midwife to many women whilst they birth their baby who has died before labour starts . It broke my heart each time I cared for these families. However I saw the fact that I was allocated to care for them as nothing but a true privilege and joy . I wanted to make the moments they had with their precious child special , full of love and memories . I helped them take the best photos . assisted them through washing their babies and also knew that I had to give them time to grieve and to communicate to them through deeds not words that I was “with them” totally . I cried with them , held them whilst they sobbed , even laughed with them – which may sound strange but it’s true . I cooked for them , made endless pots of tea and I washed their feet . I saw in these women & men a strength that can’t be put into words on a blog . I recall walking a couple through a labour ward to a bathroom with their stillborn son , so they could all be together in the bathroom whilst the mother took a bath – they insisted I sat with them ,so I did – on the bathroom floor – I know these memories are as special to them as they are to me.

    Midwives do not routinely get counselling post events like this – fire workers and police staff do so is the NHS missing a clue ?

    In 2006 I reflected on an incident at work where a woman came in to be induced and when I put her on the CTG monitor, we discovered that her darling son was not for this world . I was devastated and had to arrange childcare so that I could stay with the woman & her husband post my 21.00 shift finish . Another thing. that also hit me hard was that the friend I asked to help me with my young family had no qualms about saying yes – I later found out that the reason was that she had given birth to a stillborn son many years before (she told me that she felt by helping me she was helping the parents of the stillborn baby ).

    As I left the couple to go home much later , I wept from sadness for them and their empty arms as well as emotional exhaustion and was told not to cry by a senior member of staff. I couldn’t go into work the next day .

    What transpired was an article about my reflection by Rosemary Mander . The mother became a friend of mine & I helped her with a SANDS event – I went to her sons funeral and this connection helped me to cope as much as it did her to have someone who saw her son like she did – as a beautiful boy .

    It’s so important that we see our role as supporting parents through sadness & also happiness . The midwives who choose to knit hats are simply trying their best – they might not know what else to do – it’s s coping mechanism. You can’t train for events like these just like parents can’t prepare for this to happen to them .

    I’d like to thank Rosemary Mander for writing around my reflection in 2006 , the mum & dad of the darling son that was born asleep for giving consent to publish my reflection all those years ago (you gave me the courage to show my emotions to other parents) and also to my friend for her kindness in caring for my family whilst I stayed with the family ❤️

    Also thanks to @kwelsh1 for showing me this powerful sculpture by Albert Gyorgi called “Melancholy ”

    it sums up how any parent who loses a child must feel