Category: Skin to skin contact

Against the odds, Anaesthetics, Babies, Being a mum, Being busy as a midwife, Birth, Caesarean section, Communication, Compassion, Courage, culture in nhs, Digital, Hospital, Human kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, leadership, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, parents, Patient care, Postnatal care, Respect, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Women's rights, zero separation

A midwifes role in the maternity theatre – support from managers

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Here it is my blog aimed at NHS managers and fundholders of maternity services – time to explain a few home truths. MORE support is required for midwives in the operating theatre from upper NHS management in order to facilitate and maintain SkinToSkin contact between mothers , fathers and babies .

A few reasons the midwife may have for leaving theatre include : –

  • To check the placenta
  • To take blood gases
  • To obtain documentation from a printer (which is not actually in the operating theatre)
  • To complete digital or written records
  • To register the birth

Let’s look at it another way – if an operating department practitioner said to a midwife “I just need to nip out for a few minutes can you step in for me for a few minutes and help the anaesthetist? ” how would a midwife feel ? How often does this happen ? Never !!

We must respect each another’s professional competencies and abilities and not take advantage of any given situation . The operating theatre is governed by health and safety due to the highly clinical nature of its environment . Midwives are selling themselves short by trying to manage their workload instead of questioning why they need more support .

We must deal with the root cause which is midwives leaving theatre to complete routine tasks (when they should be staying with women and babies)

The symptom is the fear of other staff in theatre of caring for the dyad , the woman’s fear at being unable to speak out that she’s scared of holding her baby during her operation or procedure .

The midwife has a professional responsibility for the mother and her newborn as set out in the NMC code of conduct and The NMC Standards for Competence for Registered Midwives

I’d also like to refer to these key parts of the NMC code which seem to address care of the dyad in theatre so well .

If you are a manager support your midwives by auditing the reasons why a midwife might leave a woman in theatre for any length of time and address that issue with the multidisciplinary operating theatre team – there will be solutions and the solutions will improve care , safety , women’s and families experience of care in the operating theatre and well as giving midwives immense job satisfaction, plus enabling team cohesiveness – what more could you ask for ?

I am challenging all line managers to go into the operating theatre and watch the midwife – how can you make it better for the midwife and therefore the dyad ?

Keep on keeping on

Thank you for reading my blog

Please leave your comments as I appreciate all feedback

Jenny ❤️

Babies, Being a mum, Being busy as a midwife, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Change management, Communication, Compassion, Courage, culture in nhs, data colllection, Giving information, Helping others, homebirth, Hospital, Human kindness, Midwife, Midwifery, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, NHS, Obstetrics, Post traumatic stress disorder, Psychology, PTSD, Respect, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Working from the heart, zero separation

#BirthLeadership ©️ is Born

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Today is an exciting day for me . I have just registered a new hashtag that I hope will influence every woman and midwife . The hashtag is

#BirthLeadership ©️

As a midwife one of my aims is to display leadership towards women in order to support them through their labour and birth . I hope that this cascades onto future midwives so that they too can show leadership. This process may involve eye contact , holding hands , a hand on a shoulder , researching,debating decisions, reading information, challenging the system BUT together as a team to help make women feel like they are the leaders of their own births . Whatever the mode of birth it’s right that midwives let go and give the lead control to the woman . This can be through education and sharing views but first and foremost it must be about midwives listening to women’s hearts, voices, dreams and plans.

Midwives begin by championing women’s choices so that birth is given back to women .

Sheena Byrom OBE and Professor Soo Downe of UCLAN co-wrote an research article called “She sort of shines” Click here for PDF

in Box 1 as above the midwives interviewed were asked about the connection between leadership identifying commonalities between both .

The huge psychological impact of having no voice in a birth is well documented and can have long term physiological effects on a woman’s mental health . Studies on post birth PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) often highlight the lost voice of the woman and her fear of speaking out .

Birth leadership is created so that every midwife questions her own practice in order to ask herself “am I displaying birth leadership skills?” – in other words “what am I giving to this woman and her birth to relinquish my control and give her the lead in her own birth”

Let’s take for example coached pushing in the second stage of labour something which is neither evidence based practice or conducive to effective care – yet still it goes on. Click here for NICE guidance in 2nd stage of labour April 19

Some midwives FOLLOW this tradition and their fear of changing practice influences others negatively, preventing birth leadership in some NHS maternity units.

We must become champion challengers and this doesn’t mean loudly-it can be quite subtle and indeed this quiet way is less likely to disrupt a woman’s oxytocin flow – promoting both a sense of security and safety .

Let’s talk optimal cord clamping – and how Amanda Burleigh knew in her midwifery bones that immediate cord clamping wasn’t quite right – it didn’t sit well in her midwifery skin- @OptimalCordClamping showed Birth Leadership and started to challenge research and change practice which led to optimal cord clamping (OCC) being included on NICE guidance – Quality statement on OCC Amanda’s Birth Leadership is ongoing and she has inspired others to talk about OCC by inspiring them for example Hannah Tizard who is @BloodToBaby on Twitter . This is true practice change for women and babies . Here’s Amanda’s twitter feed .

The way you act in and out of work shows the person you really are . Your aim should always be to help others as much as you’d help yourself – keep that formula equal every minute in your midwifery career and you won’t go wrong .

Women need to know we care ❤️

Try and wear a new pair of glasses when you go into work – sit in a different chair for your lunch , ask colleagues “what are my good and bad habits?”, question your usual behaviour and remember why you became a midwife – to give the lead to women.

Birth leadership is about small steps or huge steps beginning with the next woman you are with as she gives birth .

If you have shown birth leadership of any kind use #BirthLeadership and tweet about it

Here are a few Birth Leadership examples

SkinToSkin in the operating theatre

Not weighing a baby until after it’s first feed

Leading a woman to change position in the second stage to avoid lithotomy

Helping a woman to birth and hold her stillborn baby and making the family a safe space ❤️

Helping a woman who has been constantly monitored on CTG to the bathroom for a walk and a wash

Being silent as a woman is in the second stage of labour

Supporting a woman compassionately through a difficult birth

Helping a woman to avoid unnecessary internal examinations

Being a baby’s advocate when the woman is having a GA Caesarean

Holding a woman’s hand in an emergency situation

Caring for a woman’s relatives as well as the woman herself

Here is an uplifting reply from @FWmaternity co-founder of MatExp and inspiring obstetrician who is supportive of Midwives and promotes her Trusts home birth team ❤️

NB please don’t think this about starting a campaign yourself although that would be great it’s about sharing the little things that signify BirthLeadership to inspire change – so please add yours on Twitter ❤️

Thank you for reading

Yours in Birth leadership love

Jenny ❤️

PS

Please add your comments to my blog – I welcome all feedback

❤️Facilitate what is happening rather than what you think ought to be happening. If you must take the lead, lead so that the mother is helped, yet still free and in charge. When the baby is born, the mother will rightly say, “We did it ourselves!”

Tao Te Ching – ancient Chinese quote about what being a midwife means ❤️

Anaesthetics, Antenatal education, Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Change management, Communication, Compassion, Courage, culture in nhs, Fear of Birth, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Human rights, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, leadership, Learning, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, Newborn, Newborn attachment, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, Postnatal care, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Women's health, Women's rights, zero separation

The birth of my son

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25 years ago today I gave birth by Caesarean to my second child . A boisterous boy to compliment my daughter who had been waiting to become a big sister for over 5 years .

I was so excited about going into labour as I was now a midwife – I “knew” what to do – I felt positive and excited .

A few weeks before my due date I suspected my baby was breech and told the consultant “Oh Jenny why are you doing self palpation ? “It’s obviously cephalic” he said (I didn’t know I was going to have a boy ) – “stop worrying!!”

Off I went on my merry way .

Fast forward to my term appointment with my midwife (I had started to have a few niggles but I was determined not to rush into hospital and previous complications meant a home-birth wasn’t an option) . My midwife confirmed my concerns – the baby is breech and there’s nothing in the pelvis at all . I was sent to the hospital – I felt annoyed with myself .

About 5 hours later I was in theatre having a spinal in preparation for a Caesarean. In those days the false evidence of the vaginal breech trial was forced upon many women – I was frightened into having a Caesarean – I truly felt robbed .

I took it all on the chin and decided that it as a midwife would be an asset to have experience of normal birth and Caesarean. This personal experience of mine would help women to know that I’d understand and support them through any birth .

At my Caesarean my son was born – I saw him for less than a few seconds and he was whisked out of theatre into an ante room . There he was wiped down, rubbed, touched and handled by midwives. Then my son was measured,weighed, given vitamin k dressed and wrapped up . I didn’t hold him for 4 hours and I wish I’d been able to.

Not having skin to skin contact in the Operating theatre hasn’t affected the relationship I have with my son . I did however long to hold him whilst I was in theatre and kept asking where he was and when I could see him.

Not having skin to skin contact has made me determined to educate women and those who attend birth in the operating theatre as to why skin to skin it’s so utterly important- it’s a physiological norm for human mammals .

Each time I’m with a woman in the operating theatre I don’t feel angry or upset about my experiences- I just feel very thankful and grateful that times are changing and that skin to skin is becoming normal in the theatre environment.

Skin to skin was never mentioned to me at all for my son’s birth – God forbid a woman would want to hold her baby whilst being operated on in the 1990s !!

Well thank goodness times have changed and that there are lots of brilliant midwives, theatre nurses , obstetricians, anaesthetists and operating department practitioners who know why skin to skin matters . In helping families they are changing the system. They realise that birth in the Operating theatre isn’t about “their theatre” functioning in the same way it always had done but about making the Operating theatre a “family space” .

Once I got to the ward a dear colleague of mine (who has since retired) came to see me and asked me if I’d had skin to skin contact. I hadn’t even fed my son yet!! – luckily my son was a sturdy 8 pounder . My lovely friend passed my son to me so that I could take his sleep suit off , explore his skin , check his fingers and toes , gaze into his face and start our journey as mother and son . He was soon breastfeeding and I felt relieved that my friend had supported me .

If you are wondering whether I’d be such a protagonist for skin to skin if my second birth had been different? I know I would be !! The infamous Dr Nils Bergman set off my interest in why skin to skin matters for all newborns and he instilled in me a duty to spread the word.

I am really proud to have helped many women to overcome their doubts and fears about skin to skin in the operating theatre and I hope I continue this journey with many more families.

This blog is dedicated to my son and daughter who have made me the mother who I am .

Happy birthday son ❤️.

Thank you all for reading.

With love

❤️Jenny ❤️

Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Communication, Compassion, Hospital, Human kindness, Human rights, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, Newborn attachment, NHS, Obstetrics, Skin to skin contact, Women's rights, zero separation

SkinToSkin poem © by Jenny Clarke

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it really doesn’t matter where you are

Home , hospital , Operating theatre, birth-pool or sat on a star 🌟

The ultimate way for a baby’s life to begin

Is right next to her mother in SkinToSkin

Your baby doesn’t care what she weighs

Read and digest the ATAIN study – we adore what that says

SkinToSkin contact for babies 37 weeks or more

can reduce unplanned admissions to special care- that’s the score

It helps stop separation of you and your baby

That’s a fact – no ifs,buts or maybe

Prolonged SkinToSkin makes you more of a team

So that baby can understand you (and vice versa) – see what we mean ?

SkinToSkin is no fad, craze or latest trend

SkinToSkin makes mother’s better mothers that’s why @JennyTheM is here to bend

your ears soon in Breastfeeding Week.

I have read all the research by the SkinToSkin geeks

I am giving you the evidence and it’s right up your street

So make plans , prepare for SkinToSkin don’t leave it to chance

When your baby gets SkinToSkin she’ll move about – a newborn birth dance

SkinToSkin sets off behaviour ,keeps baby’s calm

Us humans are mammals -made to keep our young warm

So at birth just consider how your baby will feel

SkinToSkin will tell her –

YOU ARE the real deal ❤️

© @JennyTheM 27.3.19

My next blog will be about the need for correct positioning for mother and baby (or other mother and baby or father and baby ) in order for SkinToSkin to reach its full potential and benefits ❤️

Antenatal education, Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Children, Compassion, Hospital, Human rights, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, NHS, Postnatal care, Respect, Skin to skin contact, soeaking out, Student Midwives, Women's rights, Young mothers, Young women, zero separation

Newborn babies – photographed without their parents – my bugbear

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Everyone who knows me knows that I promote , research and present about SkinToSkin contact . I know exactly why it matters to mothers , fathers and babies .

Just recently I’ve noticed an advert for an upcoming ITV series “Delivering Babies ” in which Emma Willis stars as a auxiliary nurse assisting on a maternity unit – the profile photo shows a picture of Emma holding someone else’s baby without any of the parents in the photograph – this is what prompted me to write this blog .

One particular bugbear I have is seeing a baby on a photograph with a health care professional without the mother or father being included in the picture .

I have discussed this with many future and new parents and explained that they are the guardians of the newborn – protecting it from unnecessary exposure to anything . At most schools there is a social media policy which prevents the posting of children on social media sites . However the same rules don’t seem to apply for newborn babies.

I see many programmes about pregnancy, labour , birth and the postnatal on TV which I choose to critique. Some I have given up watching through exasperation that the baby is not seem as a child of someone .

I have had heated debates with maternity managers , future midwives , midwives , maternity support workers about why a baby should not be photographed without any of its parents . I ask them this question “if you had a baby would you want it’s photo to be on someone else’s social media account , mobile phone or perhaps even framed on a sideboard in someone else’s home that’s not even related to you ?”

Just google “Midwife” and numerous photos will pop up of midwives holding someone else’s baby . There’s even one from Call The Midwife – time to rethink why these photos exist and consider the human rights of the newborn ?

Below are two collages I made following a google search – who are these babies and were the parents asked for full consent and counselled thoroughly about the fact that their babies would appear on internet searches ?

My other concern is WHO takes the photo ? If it’s on the parents phone and given to the midwife as a gift does that make it ok . What is consent ? Eg “could I have consent to use this photograph of me holding your baby to post on social media / put into a frame at home , look back on and wonder who that baby belonged to in 20 years time ” OR “could I have a photo of you as a family with me in the background which I will treasure and treat with respect , I will not post it on social media and it will remain a midwifery memory for me of meeting you ?”

In taking photos we must consider

Is it necessary ?

Please leave your comments below

Yours in midwifery love

@JennyTheM

Antenatal education, Being a mum, Birth, Caesarean section, Compassion, Courage, Fear of Birth, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Human rights, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, NHS, Obstetrics, Respect, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Surgery, Women's health, Women's rights, Working from the heart

Fear of Birth – A Poem

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I didn’t want a labour -everyone in my family knew

I did want a baby though

-my desperate feeling was not new.

I’d always been nervous,fainted at the sight of blood

told myself time and again that at birthing I’d be no good

My husband eventually won me round

We started trying for a baby but my mind couldn’t rest

So many ifs and buts and a maybe

we were pleased when we found out the positive test,

Inside my body though I felt so stressed

I had a tightness in my chest

I almost wanted to shout & shriek (no one seemed to listen)

I tried to talk about Caesarean birth with health professionals through the weeks

-somehow they didn’t hear me -I felt soft , so ridiculous so weak.

I couldn’t express my feelings, my fear of giving birth

I felt anxiety would pass to my baby -I had no sense of worth .

I went into labour I was scared and full of fear

my husband and my mother were with me it helped me to have them near

I failed to express myself to the doctors that I just couldn’t do it

But it was as if my words couldn’t come out- I truly almost blew it .

What happened next was down to the perception of my midwife

She saw the turmoil I was in recognised my inner strife

She stood side by side with me , told the Drs what I’d said

She was my birthing advocate – my saviour through the dread

A plan was made they’d finally noted every word I’d spoken

I was going to have a Caesarean section it was as if I had awoken

Don’t presume my fear had simply run away

I was worried ,scared and still not quite sure what to say

During the birth I could not look or speak or move

But when I held my baby skin to skin I was overwhelmed with love

My child was born and passed to me – I had achieved so much

And to the midwife that heard me through the tears – THANK YOU – for your listening touch

You really made a difference to me and my family

I don’t know how I’d have coped if you hadn’t stood side by side with me

@JennyTheM 16.5.18

Dedicated to Yana Richens OBE @Fearofbirth on Twitter for raising the profile of women who have fear of birth and for teaching Midwives and future Midwives strategies to help women ❤️ thank you ❤️

Against the odds, Babies, Being a mum, Being busy as a midwife, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Change management, Communication, Compassion, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, Postnatal care, Respect, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Women's health, Women's rights, Working from the heart, Young mothers, Young women

Postnatal transfer to the ward from labour ward – my thoughts

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A DM (Direct Message) on Twitter is a message you receive from someone that no one else can see – apart from the people included in the message.

In the past four weeks I have received 7 DMs from a mixture of midwives , future midwives and women all with the same subject matter . This subject is mainly about ‘who decides when a woman is transferred from the room she gave birth in to the postnatal ward’ This seems to be a hot topic at the moment as the variation in time from birth to transfer is huge – especially when comparing Caesarean birth transfers to other birth transfers (and it might surprise you to know that the variation in birth to transfer time to the ward for women who have Caesarean birth is also vast – some units care for these women on the labour ward until their spinal has worn off , some units transfer to ward within a short time in recovery which leads me to question that support with breastfeeding must be patchy).

Just the other week at Salford University Midwifery Society Conference ‘Transforming Birth’ click HERE for a summary of the day – I asked a question to the audience “are you, as future midwives pressured to move women to the postnatal ward (after they have birthed their babies) faster than the women themselves would like or you as a future autonomous practitioner would like ?” The result was that over 80% said YES.

Do we as Midwives consider our own autonomy enough when we are working ? In order to give the woman a sense of feeling cared for and nurtured individualised, compassionate, holistic midwifery is paramount . Each woman is different- some may prefer a rapid transfer , others may not . Some women may need extra support to establish breastfeeding or be debriefed post birth or some women may want to rest in a quiet place with minimal noise before they are moved to the ward . If a birth takes place in a birth centre which doesn’t focus on time , women will stay in the same room post birth until their discharge home.

In the NHS patient care sadly revolves around the concept of time . If a patient is not seen , admitted or discharged within a four hour time frame (see photo below ) it is considered a “breach”

Certain procedures have a standard time frame in which so many can be done – this is how operating theatre lists are generated and how the NHS deals with waiting lists .

However birth is and must be a positive experience – even though it has coding costs and some births are planned to the day -we must give women more than they expect – stand up for them , be their advocates. Challenging the system is one of the ways we can make change happen – if we all accept each day “this is the way we do this” we cannot be developing our roles or our practice to improve woman centred care . I’m not saying it’s easy but I want you to imagine what care you would want for your sisters and your daughters ? Then give the women THIS care – I am in the NHS as I nursed my own mother until her death at home – I see the connection between care at birth and care at death . I have been a nurse to the dying and that experience has impacted on the care I give to women in a most human way .

Whatever care you give , whether you transfer a woman in your fastest time or not is all rather irrelevant when you focus on the bigger picture – YOU are responsible for the care you provide , or you don’t provide -if you tell a student to do something that is YOUR responsibility and I suggest referring to this NMC publication which I look at each day The NMC CODE . If advice or suggestions are not kind , caring and have a direct clash with your duty of care , if a more senior Midwife tells you to do something this should be documented in the notes and be evidence based, kind and resonate with your trust guidelines plus the NMC code.

Sometimes we are stretched short staffed , rushed and under pressure but at no point should this be the woman’s problem.

So the next time you are preparing a woman for transfer to a ward just think

  • Have I given her & her partner enough time alone with their newborn
  • Have I helped initiate feeding
  • Am I rushing her ?
  • Do I feel under pressure ?

Then if necessary give her some more time – and when you arrive on the ward give continuity of care to the woman and her newborn by transferring in SkinToSkin contact , admitting them both to the ward environment yourself , taking and recording observations , checking the woman’s pad and fundus ,getting the woman a drink and this will also help your colleagues on the ward immensely.

❤️Be a holistic professional caring Midwife ❤️

Thank you to the student of Salford University and those who DM’d me on Twitter – you inspired this blog

Thank you for reading

Yours in midwifery love

JennyTheM

❤️

Against the odds, Anaesthetics, Antenatal education, Babies, Being a mum, Birth, Breastfeeding, Caesarean section, Change management, Communication, Compassion, Courage, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Human rights, Intra-operative care, Kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, Learning, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, Newborn, Newborn attachment, NHS, NHS Systems and processes, Obstetrics, Patient care, Postnatal care, Respect, Skin to skin contact, Student Midwives, Teaching, Women's health, Women's rights, Young women

Birth imprinting – SkinToSkin contact

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As a child is born to a mother there are emotional , hormonal, physical and psychological needs that are satisfied when SkinToSkin contact occurs and these will give both short and long term health benefits to mother and child .

A mother should be the first person to touch her newborn and that is one of the reasons that midwives should wear gloves. The mother’s skin will imprint the newborn with her smell, touch and love – the newborns face, smell and skin will imprint onto the mother and these are processes which are golden moments not to be missed .

If a mother is feeling unwell or anaesthetised the midwife should hold the newborn next to the mother’s skin for her , taking photographs with the mother’s phone or camera will enable the first sight of the baby to be saved and also surpass consent issues around photographs- the parents can then choose what they show to others and what they keep .

A Midwife is the woman’s and the newborn’s advocate and it’s crucial that the Midwife finds a way to involve the second parent in skin to skin contact somehow after the mother has held her newborn for a sufficient time to enable the first breastfeed .

If a woman wants to breastfeed once this has the benefit of giving colostrum as a gut protector and immuniser- colostrum contains immunoglobulin.

In cases of premature birth courage , knowledge, dexterity and skill are needed to enable skin to skin to take place . The value of collaboration (as discussed by @CharleneSTMW at a recent MatExp event at Warwick Hospitals cannot be understated – all members of the team must be aware of the benefits of SkinToSkin contact at Caesarean or instrumental birth .

We must all sing from the same sheet and share the same values so that everyone agrees that skin to skin with mother takes place before any other intervention .

Skin to skin is not an intervention it is something as natural as putting your key into your front door without thinking about it . However it seems that women and newborns are in a postcode lottery – where you live and which hospital you attend for your birth can determine and influence your chance of skin to skin .

I receive many requests from midwives from the NHS and across the world asking me to help them overcome barriers to facilitating skin to skin contact within their workplaces especially in the operating theatre . Some are stopped by anaesthetists, obstetricians , some ridiculed as strange by their colleagues and told “it’s not happening here” . We must remember that nothing is final and show the evidence which is growing by the day that skin to skin contact is not something that can be measured , it’s a primitive response which comes as second nature to a new mother – if that mother is out of her comfort zone she won’t have the strength or courage to question why – that’s OUR JOB !

Many ago I recall being told by some midwives “it won’t be happening – it’s too complicated ” and now I smile as I see midwives like @jenistevenssts in Australia studying skin to skin in the operating theatre for her PhD thesis, NICE GUIDANCE CG190 even includes SkinToSkin thanks to midwives like @drtraceyc who campaigned for its involvement and birth activist @millihill writing about it in her book (picture below)

The priceless value SkinToSkin is spreading across the world and if it’s not happening I’d like YOU to question why

This blog is dedicated to my mum Dorothy Guiney 22.2.1925 – 22.9.1978 ❤️

Being a mum, Helping others, Human kindness, Motherhood, NHS, Skin to skin contact

My wonderful mum 

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On 22.9.1978 at around 6pm my dear mum died. I was 18 years old and it felt so unreal when it happened . I always imagined she’d come back to me . I still dream about her vividly and feel her presence close to me each day .

My mum was an ordinary mum , she had no airs and graces , I never heard her talk badly of anyone, she was an extremely kind soul who saw the good in everyone . My mum was always making people laugh , she was also a fabulous baker, never learnt to drive and had a great relationship with her sister Hilda who used to take her away on sisterly weekends once in a while  – my dear Auntie  Hilda outlived my mum by over 26 years and she shared many memories of their childhood with me over those years – and I treasure these stories .

I don’t ever really remember my mum shouting at me or my sisters, she taught me how to be a good person and gave me an insight into why being a good mother is so fundamental to a child’s life and how a mothers love can shape the person that we become .

Every year on on the 22nd February (my mums birthday ) and the 22nd September I celebrate her life by buying flowers and writing about her in one of my journals .

My mum gave me a good life , because we lived in a shop she was always there every morning , every afternoon when I got home from school  – I didn’t realise how lucky I was until just recently .

One thing my mum used to say to me was “if you really believe in something try to stand up for it and don’t let it it go” I see now that believing in skin to skin is not something I am ever going to let go of .

My mum gave me a firm foundation in my life – and this blog is my way of thanking her

Thank you for reading,

With love & kindness

Jenny 💛

Dedicated to my mum

Dorothy Guiney 22.2.1925 – 22.9.1978

Babies, Birth, Breastfeeding, Community, Community care, Compassion, Discharge from hospital, Giving information, Helping others, Hospital, Human kindness, Labour , birth, Labour and birth, MatExp, Midwife, Midwifery, Midwifery and birth, Motherhood, New parents, NHS, Obstetrics, Postnatal care, Skin to skin contact, Women's health, Women's rights

Lifting the lid – my life as a midwife PART ONE 

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This blog has a few aims and I’d like to set them down before anyone panics about what’s going to be said

  • To try and encourage other midwives why it’s ok to bend the system – but only if it benefits the woman and her family
  • To inspire others to be different and think outside the box 📦
  • I’m telling my journey and not only what led me into midwifery but what keeps me there
  • I want to show the media that midwives do care about women
  • There will be no breaches of confidentiality
  • The blog is of my thoughts and feelings

My life as a midwife began in 1982. I was a student nurse and on placement on a maternity unit learning about midwifery. I was sent into a room to watch a forceps birth – this was not in an operating theatre where complex forceps births take place nowadays but in a simple birth room – I can’t recall anything apart from the woman screaming and the way the forceps were used – it marked me for life so I don’t know how the woman progressed from it . I put off any thoughts of having my own children because of the way this woman seemed to suffer. Back then I was learning about life in the NHS , how to become a patients advocate , running my dad’s newsagents , continuing with my student nurse course which was run by the nursing school attached to the hospital . I was in shock afterwards and decided then I would never be a midwife . 

Fast forwards to the birth of my beautiful daughter in 1989 . I was admitted at 0.5cm dilatation and refused permission to go home because that’s how it was then – I was given a cervical sweep without being asked or consented for it and felt violated after the event asking the midwife “what did you just do to me ?” .

“I swept and stretched your cervix , you’ll labour now” was the reply – I didn’t know what to say and I was in pain but I accepted it and just felt lost .

I did eventually give birth 22 hours after my admission and struggled with the pushing part – the consultant was called in and I recall him shouting at me how to push and threatening me with forceps if I didn’t push harder . I gave birth on my back , semi – recumbent – no-one encouraged or suggested a change of position . I was GIVEN an episiotomy without consent and cannot recall any conversation about why this was DONE to me . More or less straight after my birth I was left alone with my daughter she was in skin to skin contact with me . This wasn’t because I knew about the benefits of skin to skin contact at all , but because I just didn’t want to let Jane  go – my mums death when I was just 18 years old had impacted on me massively and I saw something in my daughter Jane’s face that reminded me of my darling mum , I was so emotional I couldn’t put Jane down – despite being encouraged to .

After the birth I developed bladder problems so had to be kept in for 5 days . I recall feelings of loneliness , sadness , especially when my partner and visitors left . There were strict visiting times in those days , no rule bending , no partners staying overnight allowed .

Once home I felt more relaxed but my partner was only given one day off work . I had no one, both my sisters were in high profile jobs and both my parents had died when I was younger . A friend came for a few hours a day and tucked me into bed with Jane , I slept whilst she tidied up , cooked and was there for me , I didn’t know what had hit me .

My community midwife Jean Duerden was amazing , I felt unwell had terrible perineal pain and couldn’t walk far – I accepted this as normal – I was a medical ward sister – I knew nothing about babies and / or petineums . My speciality was caring for men and women with medical conditions – a world apart .

My community midwife Jean realised something was wrong and I was quickly fast tracked and diagnosed with a perineal haematoma – my sutures were subcuticular and very difficult to release so I had to persevere with analgesia and antibiotics .

The visits from Jean my community midwife were the highlight of my days – she would bring a student midwife with her and we would talk about how I was feeling , the importance of rest and nutrition and emotional support . Jean also gave me brilliant Breastfeeding advice . One day I blurted out to Jean about my birth experience and she was amazing . I felt from my moments with Jean that she inspired me to become a midwife . Although my labour experience wasn’t great , my postnatal care was so different .

Almost three years later I started my midwifery training and I have to say despite the ups and downs , staff shortages , media portrayal of midwives , the difficulties I’ve gone through in my career I love being a midwife . My own experiences have shaped me and taught me to listen , act and trust women .

When I started my midwifery there were no computers – we wrote everything and risk management was very low key . I recall the Fire Officer teaching my group that the most important thing was to keep corridors clear and know which extinguisher to use in the event of a fire . This has stayed with me through my career and I get very upset when I see corridors with obstacles , I make it my mission to clear them .

I kept a diary and was so thankful to form a life long friendship on my course with another nurse called April . My tutor Anne Ivill suggested that we would get on and we are still good friends to this day . April went to work on neonatal unit as soon as she qualified and is now a health visitor working with children who have congenital illnesses and special needs . We don’t see each other as much as we should but when we do it’s like we’ve never been apart .

I’ve always been quirky and don’t like discipline or rules that restrict creativity, I was the same at school and used to get into trouble for standing up for friends who were unable to stand up for themselves . Once at high school a friend asked me to wait for her after a detention as she was scared of walking home on her own . We were barred from doing such things but I had a plan ! One of the teachers saw me on the corridor and asked what I was doing, I explained that I was waiting for Mr Heathcote to give me extra maths (a total lie).  Mr Heathcote was found and my cover was blown – I had to stay late all week and clean all the desks in T6 (one of our classrooms) . I made those desks so clean and using my anger with myself as energy to get the job done – the relief was that I didn’t get extra maths I suppose ! 😂

So how has my life affected who I am as a midwife and a woman ? The most influential part of my life was growing up in a newsagents shop , talking to people from all walks of life and respecting them all as valued customers . I worked in the shop from a very young age because I mithered my parents to let me . At first I was only “allowed” to sell newspapers or one item sales . The best day was DECIMALISATION DAY . I had learnt a lot at school about this and was determined to help in the shop but my parents said no . I was so upset – then around 7.30 my dad called me into the shop they were struggling – I was to be allowed to help ! I recall elderly people asking me “how much is that in old money ?” And I dutifully exchanged prices bank to pounds , shillings and pence to help them understand . I can recall if I was off school that day or not but if I was in school I still went in as for my parents not to send me I would’ve had to be really unwell .

So I hope you enjoyed part one of my lifting the lid blog – in part two I will be referring to my student diary and how hard it was being the only one on the midwifery cohort with a young child.

To be continued ….,..

Thank you for reading

Love , as always
Jenny x ❤️