Category: Women’s rights

Birth, Courage, Kindness, Midwifery and birth, NHS, Teaching, Women's rights

Happy Birthday Sheena 

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I feel like I have known Sheena all my life . However we have known each other less than two years

Our first exchange with one another was I twitter when she retweeted one of my very early tweets about midwifery . I ran around my house “Sheena Byrom has retweeted my tweet  !”

I have learnt so much from Sheena about tolerance and roaring – agreeing and challenging and about  the nature of kindness plus why as women we must raise each other up not pull each other down . 

At work last week a senior male obstetric consultant said to me

“Midwives are advocates for all women of the world”

his words immediately made me think of Sheena and the work she does .

 I think more than anything Sheena has helped me because she believed in me – nominating me to present at an NHS midwifery conference in Durham . Click HERE for the storify on it by @GreatNorthMum . I had previously only presented at the National Supervisor of Midwives Conference in 2006  . This amazing opportunity helped me to see that presenting at conferences is about networking and sharing good practice as well as learning from others . It’s about connecting and going forwards together – the social media side of conferences allows those unable  to attend to be there via a hashtag and to catch up through stories on Steller,  Storify and blogs. 

 Sheena has a global impact on so  many  women  around the world who are connected through her love of midwifery . She is also a staunch family person and adores socialising never too busy to say hello or send a message . 

I know I’m not alone in wishing Sheena a Happy Birthday and here’s a film by @GarethPresch CLICK HERE to watch with a poem I wrote to sum up The Sheena Effect 

Sheena there are so many families, women, midwives, future midwives in the  world who have so much to thank you for . 

Enjoy your birthday – and may you stay ❤️Forever Young ❤️

Lots of Love Jenny xxxx 

Being busy as a midwife, Birth, Courage, Kindness, Learning, NHS, Nursing, Teaching, Women's rights

Dashing here to where ? 

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A few months ago I was on a break  with a #FutureMidwife – we were eating a meal at work . The staff room door flew open and a midwife in charge said “I need an observations machine in room 2 right now” the future midwife was up & out of the room before I had chance to think – err she is a lot younger than me : ) 

When she returned I said “did you go into automatic pilot ?” She agreed that she had so here’s what we discussed . 

1.When someone asks you for help ask why -is it an emergency?

2. Allow the process time to reach your brain 

3. If sitting stand up slowly to prepare yourself – if standing think before you start to walk 

4. Respect yourself and your mindfulness as much as the other person – you are equals 

5. Consider your age / fitness / mental well being and why you feel the need to dash 

6. Slow down – put yourself first – if you are young you have a long time to be working – probably into your 60s – each stressful situation shortens your life slightly 

7. If it’s an emergency it’s ok to go into autopilot but realise that you are a valuable so your focus and calm will lead others to be the same . 

Last week I almost bumped into a newly qualified midwife who was ruining out of a room . I said stop ! Are you ok what’s wrong ? “I have to tell shift leader how many cm’s dilated the woman I am with is ” I said “but that’s no emergency – you are 22 you have probably another 44 years to work . So if you continually dash you will eventually burn out . Leaving a room calmly will impact on yourself and the woman you are with – be mindful of yourself”  

The midwife agreed with me and I said don’t promise me – promise yourself to think first then walk – dash only in an emergency situation and running ? Should we be running ? Consider your own safety first . 

Here’s some points  for you all to consider 

Do you dash here & there not stopping to think ? 

Consider your mind and body – slow down a little – be calm – take your time . There are plenty of opportunities to speed up in emergency situations . Don’t put yourself under unnecessary stress if you don’t need to – there is an implication on your health . 

Try this for one day then one week and see how you feel – share your feelings with others , spread the word. 

Here’s my poem 

Dashing About 

When we dash out of a room -we leave no time to think

So thoughts are given less worth than deeds and this might make us sink 

Walk slowly as you think to yourself  and slow your pace right down

Be mindful of your own well being and you’ll never wear a frown x ❤️

Thankyou for reading 

Jenny ❤️ 

Being bullied, Courage, Kindness, Midwifery and birth, NHS, Nursing, Women's rights

Speak Out 

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Please do not see me as anyone special – my philosophy is to learn and to inspire  others to keep going – against the odds. To help others and to reinforce within myself the understanding that feeling shame is ok , that to be embarrassed is fine and to feel vulnerable is to be human . I am reading Brene Browns book Rising Strong and now realise that it’s ok not to be strong all the time. I try to stay humble and kind. 
Just recently I’ve been reading a lot about hierarchy and what it means . Some say social media does not flatten hierarchy perhaps it doesn’t but it does connect you to people you may never find the time to meet or talk to in person . 

THIS WAS WRITTEN IN 2007 I have heard of stories about bullying in the NHS and I have been on the receiving end – the word bullying to me dehumanises the people who are actually carrying out the behaviour and cruelty they are ‘bullies ‘

In May 2015 Marie Claire Magazine published an article about nursing and the bullying culture CLICK HERE to read – it has many parallels to midwifery . Sadly this issue is talked about and highlighted as wrong but still it continues . 

Jacques Gerrard is   @JacqueGRCM on twitter – Jacques gives a powerful presentation on how bullying and undermining behaviour can affect someone’s work and be detrimental to a midwives’ health. Also Jacques promotes the  RCOG & RCM JOINT TOOLKIT on challenging and identifying bullying behaviour . 

Bullying can include questioning practice , being gossiped about , being marginalised, ostracised Forcing to retrain when not necessary and being  

 given an excessive or inappropriate workload . It can also include things like not being valued for the work you do , and not being supported . It takes immense strength to challenge bullies and to let them see that you are not affected by them when in fact you might be – this is displaying a strong exterior . a person  on the receiving end of bullying may develop mental illness and physical symptoms . The following are some of the effects of being bullied 

…. anxiety, headaches, nausea, ulcers, sleeplessness, skin rashes, irritable bowel syndrome, high blood pressure, tearfulness, loss of self-confidence, various illnesses of the organs such as the kidneys, thoughts of suicide…. 

People who are being bulliied  should be aware that their employer has a duty to protect them and make them safe . The Trade Inion Congress has solid advice on challenging and recognising bullying TRADE UNION CONGRESS – ADVICE TO HELP YOU IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED –

As today is #SpeakOut day against bullying I’ve been reading on this  ANTI-BULLYING WEBSITE how to train to become an anti-bullying ambassador and this training  involves school children and adults in schools, the workplace and the community . 

It’s time to challenge any form of bullying and to consider how we treat others . Do you value your colleagues or do you snipe about them ? Do you include them or leave them to flounder on unsupported and lonely .

Bullies make up about 20% of the workforce so we can out number them and challenge . Only two weeks ago I saw a fellow colleague blatantly being targeted and I did something about it . Don’t get me wrong it was hard to speak out but once I did I had feedback from others that they had gained courage to speak out . 

It’s time to address the bullies and help them to see that their actions and behaviours can have a  long term detrimental effect on A person , the whole of society and health . If you are beng bullied don’t be a victim speak out , seek advice tell your friends , keep a diary and get some support from your union representative . If you are not in a union join one . 

Let’s all be courageous and make the world a better place to be in 

Thank you for reading 

Jenny ❤️

Being busy as a midwife, Courage, Kindness, Learning, Midwifery and birth, Skin to skin contact, Teaching, Women's rights

If you are a midwife – I am just like you ❤️  

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I am two people sometimes my identities merge into one sometimes they separate. First and foremost I am a mother who is a writer and expresses her work through writing, art  and social media. Then I am a midwife I work full time clinically and I do shift work. This realisation hit me after seeing the film ‘The Lady In The Van’ where Alan Bennett is portrayed by two actors  showing his two roles – one as the writer Alan Bennet and the other Alan Bennett the man with the house and life to live 

In addition to my NHS role  I also present regularly usually to NHS trusts Midwifery Societies and to other NHS Departments usually around skin to skin contact at birth – I also include discussion around  courage and challenges within the workplace .  Sometimes my  two ‘lives’ meet sometimes they go their separate ways however I am the conduit of my own story . I say this because I blog about some of the experiences I have had within my own work and also talk about them in my presentations . By using these experiences my aim is help others to gain confidence or consider their own approach to colleagues and to women. 

I reflect on each occurrence and then I depersonalise it to write in the third person – the aim of my stories is to give the reader hope for themselves and for others . I want midwives to realise that I am just like them – I get up I go to work I come home and then I work some more .  I work shifts and weekends . There are occasions when I have beans on toast or cereal for dinner and I have even been known to spend a full day in my pyjamas if I need a good rest . There are times on a shift when I may not get a break and / or go home late. 

I have had feedback that some of my blogs hit a nerve – my main passion is to promote skin to skin contact for all birth settings where possible , however if my platform enables me to speak out for others who are unable to speak out for themselves , then I will do it .  I would like to pose a question to you all – 

Are you aware of why some midwives do not rejoice in the work that other midwives do? 

Why is this ? As far as I am concerned it is stopping us from moving forwards as a profession. The midwives that do extra mural work are not trying to glorify themselves but they are simply filled with passion. Their drive is not something they find easy and they get tired and disheartened but they keep going – that does not mean they are any better, wiser or more respected than those doing their role and nothing extra – it just means they want to help the profession to be recognised and all of us to be equally valued. We are all relevant voices so try to respect one another and be professional , compassionate and kind to one another – this will then drip onto the women and families we care for . Consider how you react to a midwife who might be in the public eye and realise that you are equal partners in midwifery . 

Reflect back to your last month at work – have you been in any situation that you felt uncomfortable in ? Did you witness a colleague being upset? Did you see or hear something that concerned you ? How did you feel ? What did you do ? Did you regret not saying anything either because the time was not right or just because you felt scared? How do you think the other person felt ? Who did you talk to about it ? Your supervisor of midwives ? Your colleague ? Your manager ? Your family ? The NMC? Your union representative or steward? Your friends or no one ? It’s really important that when something emotional happens in your life that you can debrief about it . Personal or joint reflection helps us all to  gain feedback from ourselves  and from others and it’s SO important that this feedback includes positivity as well as critical analysis . Why ? There is a plethora of research available  ON FEEDBACK  including the article you’ve just read . Search google scholar for research and articles on how nurses and / or doctors reflect

Keeping a diary each day will help you to reflect back with better clarity – time moves fast and soon the next week is upon us – the incident or situation will pass you by . Unbeknown to you stressful situations,  scenarios , whether they are large or small will slowly and gradually affect your physical and mental health . Things like weight gain , anxiety and depression are directly  to linked to stress in the workplace and can impact negatively  on safety , staffing levels , good care and achievements  for midwifery . 

I suggest you buddy up with someone you trust , someone you can reflect with , plan with and rejoice with. Try to remember why you chose midwifery and the massive impact that your care will  have on a woman and her family . 

We all have the same dreams 

Thank you for reading please leave comments as this helps me to learn and reflect 

Jenny ❤️

Kindness, Midwifery and birth, NHS, Women's rights

The Suffragette film and midwifery 

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The Suffragette film has so many parellels in my life as a midwife and also as a single mother that I just have to write about it 

As a midwife I see the strength and courage of women on a daily basis – I also see vulnerability , sadness , wisdom and grief . 

These emotions and traits are also part of me and every midwife  and must be recognised and valued 

Until I “found” myself through social media I was almost lost and felt  that  I’d never fit in – through the power of twitter I have found my place and I’ve  gained #courageButter . I have  connected with brilliant inspiring midwives, future midwives, doulas, obstetricians and several others who are not necessarily birth workers but who embrace the fact that birth is part of our psyche . 

We are all born therefore it is crucial that any birth is a positive experience for a woman,  her baby/babies and her family – be that blood family and/or friends . 

A great resource and a global voice for birth is the Positive Birth Movement founded by Milli Hill  @millihill on twitter also look for @birthpositive . Any birth can and should be a positive experience whether it occurs at home , a midwifery led unit , a labour ward or an operating theatre .  I see it as part of my role to make that happen as do many other UK and global midwives and birthworkers  . 

The suffragettes tried peace first and were ignored so then they resorted to different tactics – I wonder how they would have rejoiced to be able to use social media to spread their campaign 

In the film their determination to smash windows and destroy communications within London are portrayed as effortless  and without thought – but I’m sure in their hearts they felt scared and questioned themselves – they had families to support and were expected to show a sort of unwritten compliance to adhere to societies views of what a woman should BE or Do . When they rebelled against this they were shunned by neighbours friends and attacked. 

This leads me to a question”What does society expect of a midwife ?” 

A ‘NICE’ person who chooses to care for women through pregnancy labour , birth and early motherhood ? OR a courageous person who fights for the rights of all women . 

So ask yourselves this “What exactly does the NHS expect of a midwife ” 

To act as an employee , to comply , to conform? Or to question practice regularly to be rebellious for the good of others , to champion women’s causes ? To help each child have the BEST possible start in life by ensuring that each woman gets top quality care and prolonged skin to skin contact at birth (How could i not mention skin to skin as  Jenny The M ?) 

Does the NHS expect us to shout out that there is a shortage of midwives ? Should we declare that in most maternity units midwives are not always having a break ?-that they work extra hours unpaid to provide support to their colleagues and also  that if midwives were mainly men our pay would be better. Taking  a decision to ‘strike’ was not an easy one  for any midwife but it raises awareness of our cause and I am proud that the RCM and Unison supported us all and stand by us 

My advice is not to ask what others expect of you but to look inside your own heart and ask what you expect of yourself 

I’m suggesting you all try to be suffragettes for midwifery – challenge practice , stick with those who encourage you , reflect regularly , embrace change and do the right thing  – the best is yet to come … 

 

  

  

Birth, Courage, Kindness, Midwifery and birth, Newborn, NHS, Nursing, Skin to skin contact, Women's rights

Skin to skin

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This is my first blog day – blog sounds such a sad word it needs an injection of sunshine So here is my sunshine injection – all about Skin To Skin .
I want to inspire midwives to think carefully about the precious time before birth when the woman is approaching motherhood and the unborn child is about to become independent —- or is it?
Babies need their mothers love at birth they need to be held snuggled, have skin to skin and to feed – all those weeks inside and suddenly “POW”it’s lights, camera, Facebook,photos,text “what’s the weight?” Pressure to be back to normal for the woman (is there such a thing? Media pressure to run on a sandy beach holding a beautiful baby wearing white linen – this is not reality – reality is tiredness overwhelming love , sore perineum , visitors who don’t iron – midwives be honest – help the mother and child have so much skin to skin they overdose on love – talk about bed sharing honestly (Basis online is evidence based information about safe sleep for babies founded by Prof H Ball of Durham Uni is wonderful ) – remember we have become westernised – the cot , disposable nappies , and everything that goes against mammalian responses – let’s get back to nature and promote skin to skin for three hours – and let’s be real – let’s be human xxx #skinToSkin xxx